


behind closed doors

by Martsa



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Genderfluid Character, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Rivalry, Rough Sex, Teasing, There will be Porn, i dont know i'm tagging it anyway, is it crossdressing if he's nb, it's just not present in the first chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 15:37:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Martsa/pseuds/Martsa
Summary: It starts as a "who can bang the hot new freshman first" deal. Then they all develop feelings. (Otayuri, Pliroy & Otapliroy.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The uni AU no one asked for. This will be a multi-chapter thing but honestly, I don't know exactly how long it's going to be. Three or or four chapters maybe? 
> 
> A huge thanks to Ducky & Sarah for motivating and inspiring me to write <3

When Otabek and JJ see the new kid for the first time, both of them go ‘oh  _fuck_ ’ because they just know he is going to ruin them. 

Yuri Plisetsky captures everyone’s attention when he enters a room. He’s all pale skin and long limbs and pink, pouty lips, incredibly beautiful in a way that spells trouble. Every move he makes is slow, calculated and graceful, every word he says carefully chosen. He’s almost too good to be real and Otabek is  _dying_  to find out just how real Yuri is.

It’s not unusual for good-looking people to capture his attention but this boy is more than just that. There’s an air of mystery to him; Otabek can tell that there are secrets behind that innocent smile and he wants to learn all of them.

“I’m gonna be the first one to bang him.”

JJ is smirking smugly and Otabek laughs in disbelief, shaking his head. JJ is his friend and Otabek loves him but sometimes he’s just... infuriatingly confident. Especially when it comes to his charms.

“You? Seriously? No way, dude. He’s way too classy for you.”

“If he’s not too classy for a frat party, he’s not too classy for me. And look who’s talking, anyway,” JJ retorts and nudges him. “Sorry, Becky, but you’ve already lost. This one’s mine.”

Otabek huffs and rolls his eyes. “Says you. I’ll believe it when I see it. And besides, I saw him first. He’s mine.”

There’s clearly a snarky reply on the tip of JJ’s tongue but he swallows it as Yuri looks in their direction and smiles, quickly saying something to the girl he’s been chatting with before standing up. The tiny shorts he’s wearing make his legs look insanely long, despite his short stature, and the way his hips sway when he walks is almost hypnotic.

While Otabek is well aware that he’s staring, he only realizes he’s been holding his breath when Yuri takes a seat on the couch between him and JJ.

“Hi, boys,” Yuri grins, eyeing them both with obvious interest. “I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking at me so I thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Yuri. Nice to meet you.”

There’s a slight accent to Yuri’s words as he speaks and somehow that only adds to the impression of him being too good to be real.

“I think most everyone here is looking at you,” JJ chuckles, and he’s not wrong. “Nice to meet you, I’m JJ–“

“His name is actually Jean-Jacques but he doesn’t think it’s ‘cool enough’ so he goes by JJ,” Otabek interrupts him, earning a giggle from Yuri. Even his laughter is like music. “I’m Otabek. So, you’re a freshman, right?” 

Yuri nods, taking a sip from his red plastic cup. “That’s right. Brand spanking new. I get lost like, twice a day, but other than that I like it here so far.”

“You need someone like me to show you around, then,” JJ smirks. It sort of makes Otabek want to punch him but he just glares at JJ instead. “So, tell me, what’s someone like you doing at a party like this?” 

“What do you mean, someone like me?” Yuri asks, tilting his head, lips curling into a playful little smile. “What does it look like I’m doing? Letting my hair down, meeting people, drinking. Confusing the hell out of straight guys when they can’t figure out if they want to hit on me or not. Potentially taking one of them back to my room if they decide they’re not completely straight after all. You know, the usual.” 

JJ laughs incredulously, seemingly not sure if Yuri’s being serious or not. “That’s your definition of ‘the usual’? Well, it sounds like you know how to have a good time.” 

“I do,” Yuri replies vaguely and nods, tucking a stray strand of golden hair behind his ear. The motion causes his loose top to fall off his shoulder, revealing more pale skin, and Otabek finds himself wondering what Yuri’s skin would look like with bite marks on it. 

“So, what else do you–“ 

"JJ, dude – thank fuck you’re here – we need your help over here. Like, right now.” 

It’s another one of JJ’s friends and, judging by the look on his face, whatever he needs help with is urgent. JJ is clearly not happy about the interruption but tears his eyes away from Yuri to look at him anyway.  

“What do you need me for?” 

“Mickey is two seconds away from getting into a fight with some other dude and you’re like the only person he listens to. You gotta talk some sense into him before it gets ugly.” 

“Why does it have to be me?” JJ groans, clearly reluctant to leave. “I’m not his fucking babysitter. And sort of I’m in the middle of something here.”

“Are you just gonna ditch your friend like that?” Otabek asks, quirking a brow. “C’mon, dude. Be a man.” 

If looks could kill, the glare JJ gives him would be lethal. They both know that there’s no way JJ is going to let anyone question his manliness like that, especially in front of someone he’s trying to impress. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll go. Guess I’ll have to go save the day again,” JJ sighs, as though this is something he does on a regular basis, and gets up. Before he goes to follow his friend, he glances at Yuri over his shoulder and winks. “See you around, Yuri.” 

Yuri gives him a sweet smile and a little wave, turning to Otabek once JJ is out of hearing distance. “Your friend is... definitely something else. Is he always like that or is he just putting on a show for me?” 

Otabek, who’s glad to have Yuri for himself for the time being, chuckles and nods. “Yes and no. He’s probably trying to impress you, yeah, but what you see is what you get, pretty much. He’s a good guy, though. He can be a little obnoxious but usually he means well. We’ve been friends for a pretty long time.”

“I can tell,” Yuri giggles. “You’re like an old married couple.” 

They spent an hour or two just chatting – well, Yuri’s doing most of the talking while Otabek just listens, but he actually prefers it that way. Yuri talks to him about his grandpa, about his cat (he has a ton of pictures of Potya on his phone), about moving out of Russia (that explains the accent) and just about everything he can think of.

They exchange numbers at the end of the conversation. 

“It’s been great talking to you but it’s been an insanely long day, I think I should get back to my room and get some sleep... You’ll walk me there, won’t you?” Yuri asks, looking up at Otabek with huge, green eyes. 

“Yeah. Of course.”

It turns out Yuri is just across the hall from him and JJ. Otabek isn’t sure if that’s a good thing – it makes things too easy for JJ – but at the same time he can’t bring himself to be too upset about it. After all, it means he’ll have a better chance of bumping into Yuri, himself.

“Thank you. You’re so... protective,” Yuri says softly, giving him a coy little smile. “Would you like a goodnight kiss?” 

This is the part where he is supposed to say no and tell Yuri that he doesn’t need to do that, he owes him nothing, he’s in no way obligated to kiss him. The part where Otabek is supposed to be a good guy. Usually he’s pretty good at that, but not tonight.

He nods instead.

Yuri giggles and drapes his arms around Otabek’s neck, bringing their lips together in a long, sweet kiss. He tastes like bubblegum and smells like strawberry and Otabek knows that if he’s not careful he’s going to fall for with this little minx.  

“You’re cute,” Yuri whispers and kisses him again before pulling away, eyes twinkling. “I like you. You can call me Yura if I can call you Beka.” 

“Okay,” Otabek says, not trusting his voice enough to try and form a more complex sentence, and nods. He doesn’t think he could say no to Yuri even if he tried; as of right now, the boy has him completely under his spell.

“It’s a deal, then. Goodnight, Beka.” Yuri presses feather-light kiss on Otabek’s jaw. “See you around.”

After the door clicks closed Otabek leans against the wall and inhales slowly, feeling rather breathless for some reason. He doesn’t know what just happened or why the petite blonde boy makes him feel like this, but one thing is for sure.

Yuri Plisetsky is unlike anyone he has ever met before.

“What took  _you_  so long?” JJ asks the moment Otabek opens the door to their dorm and steps inside. The scowl on his face is almost comic and Otabek can’t help but laugh at it while shrugging off his jacket.

“You’re not my mother,” he replies calmly, pouring himself a glass of water. “Why do you care?”

“You know exactly why I care,” JJ snaps. “You’re trying to get it on with him before me  _just_  to piss me off.” 

“You overestimate the amount of work I’m willing to put into pissing you off. All I did was walk him back to his room because he asked me to,” Otabek shrugs. He knows he should just drop the subject and that bragging is not cool, but he can’t resist the temptation.

“Oh, and I kissed him. And he gave me his number. Not in that order, though.”

“You didn’t!” JJ exclaims, looking thoroughly scandalized. Otabek has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning too widely.

“I did. And, for the record,  _he_  made the first move. Make of that what you will.”

“You motherfucker. You won the fight but you haven’t won the war yet.”

“Oh, so it’s war now?” Otabek laughs, rolling his eyes. He puts his glass in the sink and walks to his bedroom door, ruffling JJ’s hair as he walks past him. “That’s cute. How old are you, five?”

“You bet your ass it’s war, Becky. Be prepared,” JJ mutters, slapping Otabek's hand away. 

“Right. Goodnight, Mr. Sore Loser. I’m gonna go to bed. Maybe text Yuri before I go to sleep, because  _I’m_  the one who has his number.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re just mad because you didn’t get to fuck  _him,”_  Otabek says in a sing-song voice as he closes his door. 

He proceeds to lock it, just in case.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuri is bossy, JJ turns out to be a service top and a certain someone is very, very jealous.

Yuri knows he’s smart. He’s been told he’s too smart for his own good but he doesn’t really think so; personally, he prefers ‘cunning,’ or ‘resourceful,’ or ‘goal-oriented,’ or just ‘good at getting what he wants, really.’

Manipulating people by using your looks is simple but effective. Using your looks  _and_  your brain makes you downright unstoppable.

“Oh, thanks so much! I was getting so anxious, I thought I’d lost it,” Yuri chirps as he takes his phone from JJ. “You’re a lifesaver, honestly. Come on in, I wanna steal you away for a moment now that you’re here.”

The thing is, Yuri is not just smart; he’s also observant. He pays a lot of attention to how people behave around him – how they respond to the things he says, how they react to the clothes he wears – and uses that information to figure out what they are like. He’s pretty sure that, behind all that bravado, JJ is actually a good guy who just needs some attention and validation. It’s actually sort of endearing to him.

Of course he didn’t actually forget his phone in the library; the damn thing is way too valuable to him. It was a part of a carefully thought-out plan to make JJ feel like he’s helping and to give Yuri an excuse to be very, very grateful. He wants to stroke JJ’s ego a bit and, judging by the grin on JJ’s face, his plan seems to be working.   

Then again, maybe it’s just because JJ really likes his outfit.  _He better,_  Yuri thinks – it’s not like his fishnet stockings are exactly comfortable but they look  _amazing_  with his distressed denim shorts and lace top. Edgy but cute without being too much of either. He's wearing just a bit of eyeliner to make his eyes pop, along with his favorite strawberry lipgloss.

“Congrats on winning that game, by the way,” Yuri says and nods towards JJ’s jacket. “I mean, I knew that you’d win, obviously. No way you were gonna lose with our star player on the team.”  

JJ laughs, trying to be modest though it’s obvious from the way he’s beaming that he’s pleased. “It was a team effort, really, but thanks. It was a good game. I really didn’t think you’d come, though. You don’t seem like a football type of person – no offense, of course.”

“None taken. You’re kind of right, anyway. I’m not that into football, really. Never been fond of team sports, whether it’s playing them or just watching. I guess I’m just not a team player,” Yuri muses, sitting down on his bed and idly stroking the leopard print faux fur duvet cover. “But I’m really, really into football players. One in particular has really caught my attention.”

“Really?” JJ asks, smiling curiously and sits down next to him. “So, who’s the lucky guy?”

Ah, so they’re going to play this game.  _I know it’s me but tell me what you like about me._  What a classic.

Yuri tilts his head and purses his lips as though he’s thinking hard. “Well, he’s handsome, obviously, even by my standards – and my standards are high, just so you know. Taller than me, which probably applies to everyone in the team but I like it so it’s relevant. He makes me laugh, he’s smart, and I’ve heard that he’s a great friend. I mean, a very good friend of his talked to me about what a great guy he is, and this happened  _after_  both of them had tried to hit on me. If he wasn’t that great, I’m pretty sure his friend wouldn’t speak so highly of him.”

A smug little smile tugs at the corners of JJ’s mouth and he moves a little closer to Yuri. “Well, he does sound pretty great.”

“He is,” Yuri nods, twirling a lock of his hair around his finger. “He can be kind of loud and a bit of a class clown, though, and I feel like he’s trying to put on a show for me. Be all macho, you know, a real manly man, the guy who saves the day. And that’s kind of cute, but sometimes I wonder what he’s really like under all that. What  _you’re_  like.”

The slightly surprised face JJ makes causes Yuri to giggle as he seats himself on JJ’s lap, straddling him. It looks good on him, Yuri decides, that look of surprise mixed with confusion. It’s a face he wants to see more often. There are few things he enjoys more than throwing people off balance.

“So, let’s get to know each other a little better,” Yuri whispers, pressing his palms against the wall to steady himself. “You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not if you want to get in my pants.”

“I don’t?” JJ says with a laugh as his hands find their way on Yuri’s hips, and Yuri’s not sure if it’s a rhetorical question or not. And honestly, he’s good with either.

The tension between them is palpable and their lips are just inches apart but Yuri doesn’t kiss him, doesn’t make that move yet. He’s curious – he wants to see what JJ will do, or whether he’ll do anything in the first place. He wants to determine who’s going to be in charge here. 

JJ doesn’t move. He waits.  _Like a good boy,_  Yuri thinks to himself and bites the inside of his cheek to hide his smirk.

“No, you don’t. I want the  _real_  JJ. Not the front you put up, as cute as it is. You don’t have to be a knight in shining armor for me to be your princess,” he purrs before finally pressing his lips against JJ’s in a languid, teasing kiss. He parts his lips to deepen the kiss as JJ’s hands move down to cup his ass, squeezing the firm flesh of his buttocks. 

“You’re pretty enough to be one.”

Yuri presses his hips against JJ’s and smirks as he is rewarded with a soft gasp. “I’m not just pretty, I’m the best goddamn thing you’ve ever seen,” he replies and repeats the motion. “I’ve seen the way you look at me – you’re not very subtle, you know. I knew you wanted to fuck me the moment I met you.”

He begins to grind against JJ, slowly and deliberately, enjoying the delicious little sounds it pulls from him. Sure, he’s turned on as well, but driving someone else crazy with want is a real power trip.

“I wanted you too, obviously, and I could’ve just let you fuck me. But I wanted to make you work for it to make sure you’re a nice boy,” Yuri whispers. “So I made you work for it to see if you’d give up or not. Someone less patient and more selfish wouldn’t have been so nice to me... But you’re a nice boy, aren’t you,  _Jean_?” 

His voice is low and seductive and his tongue wraps around the name in a way that’s borderline obscene. 

“You’re gonna take really good care of me, right?” 

It’s rare to see JJ rendered speechless but it seems that for once he has ran out of things to say. He looks at Yuri like he has just seen him for the first time, and in a way that’s true; Yuri is a million different things and JJ has only seen a fraction of them.

“Y-yeah,” JJ finally manages to say, sounding a little breathless. “I will, yeah.”

Yuri laughs, eyes twinkling with mischief, and quirks a brow. “Get to it, then. I wore these clothes for the sole purpose of you taking them off. Don’t let me down. If you’re worth my time I’ll consider doing this again sometime.”

Seconds later he’s on his back, topless, with an equally JJ attacking his neck with kiss after kiss. Yuri giggles at the onslaught of attention he’s receiving and clings to JJ’s frame, wrapping his legs around JJ’s waist to keep himself close to him and groaning at the friction. His hands are traveling to different points on JJ’s muscled body to grab and tease whatever he can find, manicured nails leaving faint red marks on the tanned skin. 

The kisses turn into hungry laps against his collarbone and Adam’s apple and move downwards. Yuri whines as JJ laves his tongue over a pierced nipple, catching the silver ring between his teeth to give it a gentle tug; his nipples are sensitive, his body reacting strongly even to the minor stimulation. 

JJ keeps moving lower, tugging off Yuri’s shorts (but leaving the stockings on, which is less than surprising) before covering Yuri’s thighs with kisses and bites. His skin bruises easily and he knows the bite marks are going to turn into bruises before the day is over, but he doesn’t mind; and honestly, the way JJ worships his body is more than enough to make up for it. Every move he makes is meant to make Yuri feel good, and Yuri doesn’t even try to hide how much he’s enjoying it – JJ deserves to know he’s doing a good job.

A needy whimper leaves Yuri’s throat as JJ nestles his head between his thighs, and that whimper is replaced by a moan as he feels JJ’s lips against his skin, pressing kisses on his cock and balls before roaming downwards to gently suckle on his taint. He jolts in place but keeps his hands planted on the mattress, trying to stay still while also trying to keep quiet.

Yuri is vocal, always has been, and trying not to make too much noise is a real challenge. He covers his mouth with his hand and tries to hold back his moans but it’s getting increasingly difficult because his head is spinning and his heart is pounding and  _fuck_ , he hasn’t been this horny in a long time.

JJ grabs the backs of both of Yuri’s thighs to lift them up, raising the lower half of his body in the air and essentially folding him in half; thank god Yuri is ridiculously flexible which makes it rather easy. A shiver slides down his spine as JJ towers over him on his knees and places his thumbs on either side of Yuri’s tight hole to stretch it out before flicking gently at it with the tip of his tongue. Yuri throws his head back, a string of curses in both English and Russian passing his lips as he feels JJ’s tongue plunge into him, moving inside of him slow, deep strides.

“Fuck,” Yuri groans, his hands fisting the sheets as his thighs tremble, “just fuck me already, I don’t even care – I want your dick in me,  _now_.” 

His voice is as bossy as ever and it makes JJ chuckle deep in his throat as he sets Yuri’s legs back on the bed and flips him over on his stomach. Yuri sort of wants to glares at him but doesn’t, he’s too strung out to really care; there are more important things on his mind right now, such as how he  _needs_  to get fucked right fucking  _now._ He’s practically vibrating in his skin by the time JJ’s done putting on the condom, fresh out of both patience and any kind of shame.

Yuri bites his lip as JJ places the head of his dick against the outer rim of his hole and slowly sinks in, inch by steady inch. It’s been a while since the last time he was properly fucked and JJ is bigger than he initially expected and honestly, it hurts a little – but it hurts so good. He’s going to be sore tomorrow but that doesn’t fucking matter, he wants more. 

He cries out as JJ starts to move at fast, even and shallow thrusts, covering his mouth with the palm of his hand. Trying to keep his volume down is difficult because he can’t really pay attention to anything but the dick inside of him and the man who’s fucking him with it, hitting his prostate with pin-point accuracy –  _how the fuck does he even **do**  that?_ – and making his brain melt to mush.

“Harder – you’re not gonna break me, make me fucking feel it – fuck!”

The pain and pleasure come together in a way that rocks Yuri to his core, making him whimper as he backs his ass against JJ’s cock with each move he makes. He can feel his mind fade away into a sex-driven stupor and he’s not sure where he is or who he is, just that he needs more of this so he can get the release he so desperately needs.

“Oh fuck...” This time there is a noticeable shake in Yuri’s voice. “Fuck, I’m gonna come–” 

Yuri’s eyes screw shut and he moans in pure bliss as his orgasm rips through him, quite literally taking his breath away. His body suddenly feels very weak and limp and it takes every last bit of energy he has left not to collapse on the bed; JJ’s voice sounds muffled in his ears as the man grunts and comes, fingertips digging into Yuri’s sides.

When JJ slowly pulls out of him Yuri unceremoniously flops down the bed, breathing heavily as he enjoys his endorphin-ridden haze. “That was the best sex I’ve had in... a long time,” he murmurs, looking at JJ with half-lidded eyes as he lays down next to him. 

“Same.” 

Yuri laughs breathlessly, reaching out to gently caress JJ’s face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. They lay there in silence for a long while, catching their breaths and feeling thoroughly sated. Neither of them says a word because there isn’t anything that needs to be said.

The thing that eventually breaks the silence is a knock on the door.

“Don’t get up,” JJ mutters but Yuri giggles and sits up anyway, throwing on JJ’s shirt – it’s way too big for him but that’s actually a good thing because it means he doesn’t have to put on anything else to look decent. Well, sort of decent, at least. 

“I think I know who it is. Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. Won’t take a minute.”

Yuri gets out of the bed and stretches, wincing a little as a jolt of pain shoots through him – he really is going to be sore tomorrow, but that’s okay. Glancing over his shoulder, he blows JJ a kiss and winks before walking across the room to open the door.

He is completely unsurprised when he opens the door and sees Otabek.

“Hi,” Yuri says with a sweet smile and leans against the doorframe, running a hand through his hair. “Can I help you?”  

It’s impossible to miss the way Otabek looks him up and down, and Yuri doesn’t blame him. He know he looks like... well, like he’s just been fucked, basically. His hair is in complete disarray, his eyeliner is smudged, his thighs are covered in bite marks and he probably reeks of sex. Honestly, he’s pretty sure all of it actually suits him quite nicely.  

“Well, I just thought–“ 

_“Yo, Yuri, can I borrow your charger? My phone’s dying.”_

Otabek tenses visibly as his brain puts two and two together, and something akin to anger flashes in his eyes. Yuri tilts his head and watches him curiously, trying not to laugh even though he’s a little amused by the situation. Amused and also weirdly flattered.  _Is he... jealous?_

“You know what, it can wait. It sounds like you’re busy. I’ll just... come back another time.”

Yep. He’s definitely jealous.

“Okay,” Yuri chirps, pretending to be completely oblivious. “See you later, then!” 

He closes the door and glances at JJ, a smug little smile playing on his lips. Some may think jealousy is an ugly emotion but in his opinion there’s nothing better than knowing someone is jealous of you... And that they’re likely going to do something about it.  _This is going to be so much fun._

“Who was it?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever to write, I apologize. My brain wanted me to work on chapter three instead and it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to go with this chapter. It was a very slow progress.
> 
> Tags have been updated! Turns out I'm an awful tagger. Whatever.
> 
> Stay tuned for chapter three! I'll try to get it out within a week. As always, feedback is appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Otabek swallows his pride and Yuri swallows something else. 
> 
> I had to make that pun, I'm so sorry.

Otabek is more jealous than he wants to admit.

He has been trying to act like he doesn’t give a damn about last weeks... incident; he doesn’t want to give JJ the satisfaction of knowing that he has managed to piss him off. The smugness radiating from JJ is sort of making Otabek want to punch him already.

There’s no denying the fact that he’s is still ridiculously attracted to Yuri, to the point where something like this isn’t enough to make it go away, and he’s not ready to give up yet. A part of him wants to try to win Yuri over, make him realize that he can do so much better and regret ever getting involved with JJ. He wants to be the only thing on Yuri’s mind, wants Yuri to only have eyes for him.

The problem is that an equally big part of him is still upset with Yuri and wants to ignore him. Even Otabek himself is not sure why he’s so angry and frustrated. It’s not like they’re dating – he has no claim over Yuri – but he still feels betrayed. He feels like there was  _something_  going on between them, but clearly Yuri either doesn’t care or just doesn’t feel the same way.  

That is why Otabek’s doing his best to pay as little attention to Yuri as possible without being too obvious about it. Going out of his way to avoid Yuri would only make it seem like he cares, so he plays it cool instead; he doesn’t seek out Yuri’s company, he keeps his answers neutral when they talk, he acts like he doesn’t give a damn about what Yuri does or does not do. Yuri clearly doesn’t care about his feelings, so why should he care about Yuri? 

Unfortunately for Otabek, ignoring Yuri Plisetsky is easier said than done.

It’s as though he knows exactly what Otabek is trying to do, so he’s fighting fire with fire and slowly but surely wearing him down. It starts with little things, like leaning in too close when they speak and licking his lips, but quickly escalates into flirty looks and barely-concealed innuendos. 

Then come the outfits – somehow Yuri has figured out exactly what Otabek likes and he’s not subtle about it at all. More often than not Otabek has to excuse himself from the conversation simply because the exposed bit of skin between Yuri’s thigh-highs and his skirt or shorts leaves him unable to breathe properly, or because Yuri is wearing his hair on a bun and the slender line of his neck makes Otabek think about how much he wants to see the marks of his teeth on that pale skin, or...

And the selfies.  _God_ , all the selfies Yuri sends him fuck him up so bad. 

Pictures of him laying on his bed with captions like  _“i wish you were here”_  or  _“why don’t you come over and keep me company?”_

Pictures of him wearing a collar, or kitty ears, or both.

Pictures of him wearing next to nothing, face flushed and lips slightly parted.

Otabek is torn between wanting to tell Yuri knock it off and wanting to fuck him senseless. He keeps telling himself that he’s too proud to be anyone’s second choice, but at this point he’s not too sure about that anymore. He’s starting to think that there are things that would make swallowing his pride worth it.

And then one sunny afternoon he sees Yuri sporting a plaid skirt while sitting in JJ’s lap and that’s it, there’s no way in hell he can ignore  _that_. The jealous rage that shoots through him is unbelievable, and the only thing he can think of is how he needs to get his hands on the little tiger or he’s going to lose his mind. 

JJ was right; this  _is_  war.

“Usually people knock before entering.” Yuri’s sitting on the edge of his desk, which makes his skirt ride up, and the white kitty ears perched on the top of his head are painfully cute.

“Most people lock their door if they don’t want anyone to come in unexpectedly.”

Yuri makes a noncommittal sound and shrugs his shoulders as the door clicks closed. “I guess I don’t do things like most people, then. So, what’s up?”

“We need to talk.” Otabek knows it’s a cliché but he can’t be bothered to think of a better way of saying it.

“Oh, that’s ominous. I’m not sure if I like it.” Yuri giggles and tilts his head. “Why do you sound like a jealous boyfriend?” 

Otabek chooses not to answer that and gets straight to the business instead.

“You slept with him.” 

“By ‘him’ you mean your friend, right? I did, yeah. What about it?” 

The casual way Yuri says it makes Otabek’s jealousy flare up again.  _How can he be so nonchalant about it like it’s not a big deal?_

“Why?”

“That’s a very personal question,” Yuri says in an incredulous laugh and looks at him curiously. “Why not? I was in the mood, he was available and willing, we both got what we wanted. Is there something wrong with that?”

“Not really, but... I sort of feel like you were leading me on. You made it sound like you were interested in me, and then you went and did...  _that_.” Saying it out loud makes Otabek feel ridiculous, but it’s the truth.

Yuri’s eyes widen and he makes an exaggerated  _ooh_  sound. “So that’s what this is about. You sound like you’re jealous of me. Are you?” he asks, slowly crossing and uncrossing his legs in a way that Otabek’s cock found impossible to ignore. “Why? It’s not like I’m dating you. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“I know that, but–“

“That can be changed, you know. It’s not like I’m dating him, either,” he continues and shrugs. The implications of the seemingly offhand comment make Otabek’s heart skip a beat.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I can be very good at taking orders if I want to,” Yuri says sweetly, batting his incredibly long lashes. “If there’s something in it for me, I can play very,  _very_  nicely.”

Otabek suddenly realizes that his mouth has gone completely dry.

“If you’re good to me, I’ll be good to you.” The boy smiles, spreading his legs just a tiny bit. “All you have to do is say the word and I’ll be all yours. All of me. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Little kittens like you should be careful what they say. You’re playing with fire.”

The nickname makes Yuri smirk like a cheshire cat, revealing his pearly white teeth. “Trust me, I know exactly what I’m doing. I like a little danger,” he whispers. “Don’t you,  _daddy_?”

_Fuck._

Otabek freezes for a moment and stares at Yuri in slight disbelief, wondering how the  _fuck_  he knows. 

“What did you just say?”

“You heard me,” Yuri says sweetly, licking at his lips. “So, what’s it gonna be? Your kitten is right here.”

The air is heavy and electric between them, and the next thing he knows Otabek has closed the distance between them, an arm around Yuri’s waist and a hand on his thigh. The skirt got him hot to begin with but when Yuri presses his hips against Otabek’s body he goes from simmering to burning. He runs his hand down the thigh-highs, smooth fabric with Yuri’s legs hard and strong beneath them. “Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” he murmurs, “such a pretty little kitten.”

“Daddy,” Yuri whines, angling his lips up for a kiss, and Otabek can’t deny him; he kisses the boy possessively, his tongue wandering in Yuri’s mouth, tasting and washing against Yuri’s teeth and palate.

His hands come down on the skirt, capturing the seam where it meets Yuri’s thigh, and work their way under the fabric. When he slides a hand over the silky panties Yuri’s wearing and presses a warm palm over his cock, Yuri cries out and pushes his hips into Otabek’s hand.  

Otabek lowers his mouth to Yuri’s throat and murmurs into his skin, “Get on your knees and make yourself useful. If you do a good job I’ll let you come.”

Yuri immediately sinks down to his knees, unbuckling Otabek’s belt and pulling down his fly. He gives the hard member a couple of good strokes with his hand, eyes lighting up, and then moves his lips over the tip to take it into his mouth. Shivers run down Otabek’s spine as Yuri moans around him.

Otabek threads his fingers through Yuri’s hair as he suckles on the slit, his grip tightening as Yuri swirls his tongue around the head of his cock to wet it up further. He then takes his mouth off of it to run his tongue along the shaft, sucking on the sides of his girth and tracing the outlines of the veins with his tongue.

When he brings it back inside his mouth he takes it a little bit deeper, and Otabek gasps as Yuri slowly slides his lips down his length and proceeds to slip his whole cock into his mouth with little to no effort. The sight makes him curse – the way Yuri’s eyes shine, pupils blown wide as his own cock grows to hardness and bobs under his skirt, showing his daddy just how much he wants to please him. 

“Needy little slut,” Otabek growls, yanking back on Yuri’s hair to signal him to stop – as much as he wants to keep going, he doesn’t really have the patience for it right now. “Get up and bend over your desk.  _ **Now**_. I’m gonna fuck you just like this, watch your ass take me in that slutty little skirt.”

Yuri whimpers in disappointment but nods obediently anyway, getting back to his feet. He leans over the desk and murmurs a cracking-voiced “please,” and Otabek can feels his self-control crumbling down. Fuck, the things Yuri does to him. He wants nothing more than skip the rest of the foreplay and just fuck him at this point.

“I should just fuck you without any prep at all,” Otabek says darkly as he pulls down the panties and plunges two lube-covered fingers into Yuri, making him moan and whimper in a way that sounds like he’s begging to be touched. “You’ve been a bad, bad kitty. You were really testing my patience with all that teasing... Not to mention sleeping with my best friend.”

“I was just practicing, daddy,” Yuri whines. “It didn’t mean anything – it’s you I want, I promise. Please fuck me, daddy, I need your cock in me.”

“Patience, kitten. You’re in no position to make demands.”

Despite his words Otabek is already guiding himself in and sinking into Yuri’s tight body, going slow at first but then ramming his way deep inside in one powerful thrust. He moans through his teeth when he sinks home and takes a moment to revel in the hot, slippery warmth of Yuri’s ass before moving. His movements are even but fast and rapid – he’s too worked up to go slow.

The moans Yuri makes is loud enough to make Otabek cover his mouth with the palm of his hand. “Fucking slut. Can’t stay quiet, huh?” he sneers. “You need to be pipe down or we’ll wake up the entire fucking building – or do you want everyone to hear? You want them to know how much of a cum dumpster you are for your daddy? Want everyone to know who you belong to?”

Yuri tries to say something but his response is nothing more than nonsensical gibberish mixed with gasps and moans. Otabek shakes his head. “Look at you, you can’t even speak.”

The hot grip of Yuri’s body and the sweet little sounds he’s making are driving him crazy. Otabek has never seen someone go to this place so quickly, give themselves over body and mind like Yuri can, and it makes his cock twitch as he clutches Yuri tighter. The little tiger’s body is covered in thin sheen of perspiration as he gives his hole over to his daddy, taking every deep thrust with pink-lipped ecstasy. 

Otabek feels sweat drip off his brow as he moves his hips like a dog, his cock slamming in and out of Yuri at a frantic rate. His teeth clench and he can feels his loins tightening as he nears climax – just a few thrusts more and he’ll be able to come, but he wants to hear Yuri more.

“Tell me, kitten,” he whispers, “tell me how much you love getting fucked by daddy. Let me know who you belong to.”

“I’m yours, daddy, yours only – give it to me, daddy, please, give me that big cock, make me come, make me scream,” Yuri pleads, voice trembling almost as much as his body. 

Otabek chuckles darkly and wraps his fingers around Yuri’s cock to stroke him, making Yuri yelp helplessly. He tenses for the space of a couple of seconds before he comes with a loud cry, his body going impossibly tight around Otabek’s cock. The way his muscles tighten makes Otabek come with a stifled growl, nails digging into Yuri’s sides. He rides out his orgasm by stirring his cock within Yuri’s ass until his girth goes flaccid and forces him to pull out. 

Yuri glances at him over his shoulder, the look on his face screaming elation mixed with exhaustion. He’s obviously in some kind of a daze and it takes a few seconds until awareness begins to slowly slide back into those eyes.

“By tomorrow morning I’m going to be sore in ten different places,” he mutters, slowly straightening his back. “Ugh, my clothes are all sticky and gross now.”

“You asked for it, though,” Otabek chuckles and cups Yuri’s face with his hand, kissing him with surprising gentleness. Yuri smiles into the kiss, draping his arms around Otabek’s shoulders.

“Yep. I sure did. Wanna shower with me?”

“Yeah.” 

They kiss again and Otabek thinks to himself, _I could get used to this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to get this chapter out earlier but I spontaneously got a new story idea that I started to work on. The next chapter may also take a while because I'm planning to work on said new story next week - but the new story will also be Otayuri so I hope you guys will like it enough to forgive me. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading, please leave a comment if you enjoyed this chapter! Getting feedback always makes my day and keeps me writing <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all that smut we're hopping on the train to Angstville. You have been warned.

_“Hello, stranger.”  
_

Yuri’s smile widens as Milla’s face pops up on the screen of his laptop, and he and gives her a little wave. “Hey, girl. Feels like it’s been years since I last heard your voice.”

He always looks forward to their Skype dates because they give him a moment to just... breathe. Usually he’s all bravado, putting on a show for everyone, but now he doesn’t have to worry about the fact that he’s slouching and doesn’t look perfect. 

It’s just Milla. With Milla he can be soft.

_“I could say the same about you, but I guess you’ve been busy with everything. How are you? How’s the new school been treating you? Is it like in the movies?”  
_

Milla’s excitement is infectious and Yuri giggles, getting more comfortable on his chair. “What’s this, an interrogation? Anyway, it’s been... hectic. I mean, it’s been great but there’s so much going on all the time and I don’t even know where to start.”

He talks about the school, his studies, the parties, the cultural differences between the U.S. and Russia – anything that comes to mind. It’s weird to hear someone speak Russian after so long, and using it feels equally weird. It’s a good kind of weird, though. It’s so much easier so express yourself in your native language, the language you think in.

“Like I said – lots of stuff going on. It’s all good, though. I enjoy it.”

 _“That’s good to hear. It feels good to see you smile. Anyway, let’s get down to business. Tell me what are American boys are like. Better than what we have here?”_ Milla asks, giving him a meaningful grin. _“Anyone you’ve got your eye on?”_

“There’s always someone, you know that,” Yuri laughs and sips his iced coffee. “But yeah, there is.”

_“Go on, I’m all ears. Tell me more. Who’s the lucky guy?”  
_

He puts up two fingers. “There are two, actually.”

 _“Really?”_  Milla leans closer to the screen, putting her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands. “ _How serious is it? Are you trying to choose which one to go for or...?”_

“Well,” Yuri drawls, smirking, “I’m sleeping with both of them... And they both know I’ve slept with the other, but neither one knows they’re not the only one in the picture.” 

_“No way–”_

“Oh, and they’re roommates. And best friends.”

A scandalized gasp leaves Milla and she covers her mouth with her hand.  _“Yura! Oh my god, you’re so bad!”_ she giggles, trying to sound like she’s scolding him even though she isn’t able to fully hide how impressed she is.  _“How did that even happen?”_

“It’s a long story.”

_“I’ve got time. Come on, you can’t leave me hanging. Give me all the juicy details.”  
_

“Fine, fine,” Yuri laughs and puts his hands up. “Just remember that you asked for it. So, I’m at a frat party; meeting people, drinking, having a good time. The usual. I’m chatting with this girl who wants to know what mascara I use and we’re talking about makeup when I notice these two guys staring at me. One of them is being kinda subtle about it, the other... Not so much.”

_“People check you out all the time, though.”  
_

“I know, but they’re cute. So, I decided to go and say hi. I sit down with them, we talk, we get along, I get their names – Otabek and JJ – and let Beka walk me back to my room and kiss me goodnight. It’s already obvious that they both like me, so I’m like... I should take advantage of this.”

_“That’s so... you. You’re so sneaky.”  
_

“I know,” he smirks. “So, about a week after that I sleep with JJ and it’s  _amazing_. Like, wow. My standards are pretty high but it was the best sex I’ve had in a long time.”

_“Lucky you. Somehow you always find the best ones.”  
_

“Yep. Anyway, we have sex and we’re kind of just laying there, and then there’s a knock on my door. I put on his shirt and go to open the door, and Beka’s there. And I’m looking like... I’ve just been fucked, basically. Like, it’s pretty obvious. You would not believe how jealous he looked. It was kinda hot, honestly.”

_“Ouch. Poor boy.”  
_

“Yeah. Anyway, he leaves, clearly upset, and I know I should feel bad – but at the same time I’m like, ‘I could make this work to my advantage.’ If he’s jealous, it means he wants me. All I have to do is wait for him to come to me. Well, it turns out he’s sort of mad at me, so he’s ignoring me. Can you believe someone would do that? Like, you can be mad at me but you  _don’t_  ignore me. I will not be ignored.”

_“I’m guessing you decided to do something about that.”  
_

“I tried every fucking trick in the book to get his attention before I figured out what I should do. All I needed to do was pay attention to JJ. It worked like a charm. Honestly, Beka was in my room like an hour after seeing me with him.”

_“I’m not sure if I should scold you or congratulate you. You’re determined, I’ll give you that.”  
_

“It was so worth it, Milla. Like...” Yuri makes a long whistle. “The best kind of angry sex. He’s so possessive and I’m all about that. Like, all he has to do is look at me and I just  _melt_. So, yeah, we have sex and I tell him that my thing with JJ was nothing, he doesn’t have to worry about it, I’m all his. Bat my eyelashes at him, the works. He buys it, all’s good in the world.”

 _“I’m sensing there’s a_ but _.”  
_

“Yeah... That’s when things start to get tricky. Somehow JJ finds out I slept with Beka and he’s not happy. At all. Luckily I’m charming as fuck, so I convince him that it was just a one-time thing and that he’s the one I really want. 

_“Don’t you feel bad for playing them like that, though?”  
_

Yuri shrugs and sips his drink. “Not really. I mean, it’s not like I’m dating either of them. It’s nothing serious, it’s just sex. They probably don’t actually  _like_  me either. They’re just attracted to me because I’m cute. I’ll dump them once I get bored, unless they do so first. I don’t do relationships, you know that. It’s just that they treat me like a princess and I don’t want to give that up.”

_“I know, and I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just saying that maybe you should consider trying to actually date someone and see how that works out, you know? Who knows, it could turn out great.”  
_

“I guess,” he says, clearly not convinced, and quickly changes the subject. “Anyway, enough about me – how are you guys doing? How are things with you and Sara?” 

Milla’s eyes light up and when she starts talking about her girlfriend, Yuri breathes a sigh of relief. He appreciates her friendship and knows she cares about him immensely, but there are subjects he doesn’t want to discuss, even with her. Some things are off-limits.   

“I gotta go soon, there’s a party I have to get ready for. Keep your fingers crossed for me, because it could get pretty... interesting. Beka and JJ will be there, and it’ll be the first time the three of us have been in the same room in quite a while, and I’m not sure how that’s gonna work out. If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.”

_“How about you just talk to them and figure it out?”  
_

“This isn’t the Stone Age,” Yuri huffs and rolls his eyes. “People don’t just  _talk_. Any other suggestions?” 

_“Not really. I’m sure you’ll come up with something, though. You always do.”  
_

“I hope so. Anyway, wish me luck. We have to do this again soon so I can keep you updated. Same time next week?” 

_“Works for me. Have fun and stay safe, Yurochka. Don’t do anything stupid.”  
_

“You sound like a grandmother.”

_“I’m doing it on purpose to annoy you. Love you, little brother. Let me know if there’s anything you need to talk about. I’m here for you, always.”  
_

“Love you too, Milla. Tell everyone I said hi.”

They smile and wave as they end the call.

 

* * *

Yuri isn’t smiling the next time Milla sees his face. 

 _“What’s wrong?”_  she asks, immediately sensing that something’s bothering him.  _“You’re sad. Don’t even try to tell me that you’re not sad, I’m not gonna buy that. Start talking.”_

“I fucked up, Milla,” Yuri says quietly, not really looking at her. His hair is messy and his eyes are red, and it’s obvious he’s been crying. “I fucked up real bad.”

_“What happened? Come on, talk to me.”  
_

“I went to that party I talked about. It didn’t go well. It was like the perfect storm – they saw me at the same time and decided to talk to me, and I... There was nothing I could do. They realized what’s going on. I mean, maybe they were already suspicious or something but now they definitely know.”

 _“Yura...”_  Milla sighs, biting at her lip and looking at him sadly.  _“I’m sorry to hear that.”_

“I didn’t think it would hit me this hard. I thought I’d be able to shrug it off and walk away, like I always do, but... It hurts,” Yuri whispers, his voice cracking. “It hurts so much. I can’t stop crying and it makes me feel weak and I hate it, but I can’t stop.”

He covers his face with his hands and takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. If he starts crying now, it’s not going to stop and then he won’t be able to talk. 

“I really like them, Milla. I never thought I’d say this, but I really like them. I was trying to keep my distance, trying not to get attached but I did, and it’s fucking me up. I don’t want to like them, I hate them for making me feel this way but at the same time... I’m scared. I’m scared of losing them and I don’t know how to stop it from happening.”

 _Scared_. Yuri never admits that he’s scared. He always puts on a brave face, even for Milla, and pretends everything’s fine. He acts like nothing gets under his skin.

Milla hasn’t heard him say the words “I’m scared” in years.  

_“I wish I could help, darling. I wish there was something I could do to fix this.”  
_

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine,” Yuri says and laughs, softly and joylessly. “I didn’t think I’d care about them this much. It was supposed to be just sex but now they’re so important to me. I like them in different ways but they’re both just as important to me. I don’t want to lose either of them. They’re telling me I have to choose, but how am I supposed to choose when both of them are so great?”

_“You can’t really help it if you like both of them. You can’t change the way you feel. Life would be so simple if you could.”  
_

“JJ is such a good guy. He tries to act so cool when people are watching, but when we’re alone he’s like a completely different person. He’s so good, and kind, and incredibly selfless. He gets up at 7 am to buy me Starbucks when I have an early morning class, Milla. I don’t deserve him. He’s like the textbook definition of a genuinely good guy.”

 _“I’m sure he would forgive you, then,”_  she says carefully, trying to make him see the light at the end of the tunnel, but Yuri just shakes his head. 

“I don’t deserve it. He’s too good for me. Beka’s too good for me, too. I feel like I’ve known him for years. He gets me, he really does. And he’s so patient with me, he puts up with my moods and likes me the way I am. We just click. Or... we did, at least. Before I fucked it up.”

Milla mades a compassionate sound, not sure what to tell him. This is Yuri’s fault, they both know that, but she feels sorry for him anyway. She knows Yuri has a heart of gold behind the walls he puts up, and it hurts her to see him so heartbroken – especially because she can’t even recall the last time Yuri actually  _liked_  someone. 

Yuri has commitment issues. They don’t talk about it because he refuses to talk about it, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s terrified of commitment. He doesn’t allow himself to get emotionally attached to anyone, and that’s why Milla feels so bad for him now. She was hoping that he might change his mind and start dating one of the boys, but things aren’t looking good.

“I guess I really am just a dumb blonde. I had a really good thing going and I just had to go and ruin it. This could’ve been something wonderful and now it’s gone and it’s my fault,” Yuri says and wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

Milla pretends not to notice that he’s crying. Yuri appreciates it. 

_“You’re not a dumb blonde. You’ve made a couple of bad decisions but that doesn’t make you dumb. We all mess up sometimes. Do you know how many times I’ve messed up? Relationships are tricky, and messy, and sometimes people mess up and feelings get hurt. That’s a part of life.”  
_

“What am I gonna do, Milla?” he whispers, his voice thick with tears. “Please don’t tell me I should talk to them. I can’t do it. I can’t face them after what I’ve done. I’d probably start crying if I saw them. I can’t even look at my fucking phone because what if they have texted me? I can’t deal with that, I’m not ready. It hurts too much already.”

_“I think you should take some time to calm down and think things through. You don’t have to make up your mind on anything right now. Take a breather, cry as much as you need to, get some sleep, and then sit down to think about what you’re going to do next. You don’t want to make a rash decision now that you’re upset and regret it later. Trust me, I know.”  
_

“Okay,” Yuri nods, taking a deep breath. “Okay. I think I’ll do that. I’m pretty tired, anyway. Really tired, actually. All this crying and being sad is wearing me out.”

 _“Go to bed,”_  she says gently and offers him a smile.  _“Everything will be alright in the end. Call or text me tomorrow and let me know how you’re feeling, okay? I’m going to be really worried if I don’t hear from you.”_

“Yeah. I will, I promise... Thanks, Milla. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

_“I’ve hardly done anything. I wish I could do more to help you.”  
_

“You care, and you listen. That’s more than enough. It means the world to me. Thanks for being there for me.”

_“You’re welcome, Yura. Go get some sleep.”  
_

“Okay. Good night. Love you.”

_“Love you too.”_

Yuri turns off his laptop and lies down, staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t feel quite as terrible after talking to Milla but he’s still hurting. There’s an actual physical pain in his chest that won’t go away, and it’s making it hard to breathe. 

“I guess I deserve it,” he mutters to himself. “I deserve worse.”

His phone is on the nightstand next to him. It’s been there all day; usually Yuri never puts it down but now he’s refusing to pick it up. What if Beka and JJ have texted him?

What if they haven’t? 

He’s not sure which option scares him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this chapter out earlier than I thought I would because I suddenly felt really inspired. I may even get two chapters out this week, but I'm not making any promises. The next chapter will be sort of angsty as well, but I promise it'll get better. Hang in there. 
> 
> Feedback makes me smile <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuri refuses to say anything and then says too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you all it would get better.
> 
> It will. Eventually. In the meantime, enjoy some distressed Yuri.

The next time Yuri goes to class, everyone's eyes are on him– but this time it's not because he's the prettiest person in the room.

Well, he still is the prettiest person in the room, obviously. It's just that this time people are staring at him because he's not looking his best. His hair is messy and hidden under a hoodie, his eyes are red and puffy and he looks rather pale. For someone who usually dresses like every cobblestone is a catwalk that is very much out of the ordinary.

Yuri isn't talking to anyone, either. The social butterfly is suddenly very quiet and keeps to himself, giving one-word answers to those who try to start a conversation with him. Even those who have never talked to him can tell that something is wrong.

Otabek and JJ are awfully worried, naturally, even though they won't admit it. They haven't discussed last weekend's incident because it's a touchy subject and it's easier to just ignore the elephant in the room, but they know each other almost too well. JJ knows Otabek bites his nails when he's worried about something; Otabek knows that JJ turns the volume all the way up when listening to music because he doesn't want to hear himself think.

It's been almost a week since they last saw Yuri or talked to him. He's not replying to any of the texts they send him, either, even though he's read all of them– he always has his read receipts on. While not getting a text back is always concerning, knowing that Yuri is at least checking his phone gives them a little comfort.

Then the little time stamps stop appearing.  

At first they don't think much of it. Maybe he's just sleeping. Maybe his battery has died. Maybe he's doing something and can't check his phone. It's probably nothing to worry about, right? It's only been eight hours or so, there's no reason to freak out over something so minor. And besides, it's Yuri who should be feeling bad, not them. Sure, Otabek and JJ made some bad choices too, but at the end of the day this is Yuri's fault.

They start to feel very uneasy when the hours turn into an entire day.  

”You think he's okay?” JJ says tentatively, glancing at Otabek. Even though it's obvious it's been on both of their minds – hell, it's been on everyone's mind – talking about it still feels weird. He's not quite sure if it's too early to bring up the subject.

Otabek shrugs and bites his lip, running a hand through his hair. ”I– I don't know,” he admits and sighs deeply. ”I'm not sure. I want to believe that he's fine and just... ignoring everyone out of spite or something, but... What if he's not, you know?”

”Yeah, I know.”

There's no denying that they care about Yuri. They care about him a lot, and that is why they're so worried about him now. They're still upset about what happened, yes, but that has not changed the way they feel about Yuri.

At the end of the day they just want Yuri to be alright. Plain and simple.

”You think we should go check up on him?” JJ asks. ”I mean... Maybe we could talk about... stuff. I think it'd be good to sort things out.”

Otabek nods in agreement. He knows exactly what JJ means. It's probably not going to be a pleasant conversation, but he wants to get some closure so that all of them can move on. While he's afraid that Yuri will say he wants nothing to do with either of them, being rejected isn't as bad as not knowing where exactly he stands with Yuri.

”Yeah, it would, but I don't think he wants to see anyone. Or talk to anyone. Apparently he's been trying to avoid all human contact lately.”

”What's the worst thing that could happen, though? If he tells us to fuck off, at least we'll know he's still alive and kicking,” JJ says reasonably. ”That's better than nothing, right?”

Otabek can't argue with that.  

The first three knocks on Yuri's door are met with silence. Normally they would just shrug and say,  _”Well, maybe he's just not here,”_  but this time they  _know_  that Yuri is in his room and deliberately ignoring them– and everyone else. JJ glances at Otabek, who nods and knocks again. And again.

”Go away.”

As crazy at it sounds, hearing Yuri's voice actually startles Otabek. In all honesty, this is not what he expected so he doesn't really know what to say. He doesn't have a plan for this part.

”Come on, Yura. It's us. We just want to talk to you.”

”Well,  _I_  don't want to talk to  _you,”_ Yuri finally says after a very long silence. ”Go. Away. Leave me alone.”

”We're not gonna go away until you talk to us,” JJ says calmly, leaning against the door and crossing his arms. ”You can't just ignore us forever.”

”Watch me.”

”You're being childish,” Otabek sighs, trying to keep his voice as pleasant as possible despite his growing frustration. ”We just want to talk. If you don't want to talk to us ever again after this, that's fine. Just let us in and give us a couple of minutes of your time, and then you're free to ignore us for the rest of eternity.”

Yuri goes silent again, and this time Otabek is convinced their plan isn't going to work out. He's just about to open his mouth to tell JJ they should probably give up and try again later as the door is swung open, taking both of them by surprise.

”Fine,” Yuri mutters, staring at the floor. ”If that's what it takes to make you leave me alone.”

Otabek and JJ step inside and close the door as Yuri trudges across the room and sits down on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. He looks awfully tired, like he hasn't been sleeping properly, and somehow really... vulnerable.  

”You said you wanted to talk. Start talking, then.”

”We're just worried about you,” JJ says, trying to make eye contact with Yuri and failing. ”That's all. You're not talking to us, you're not talking to anyone, you're not taking care of yourself... It's obvious that something's wrong. There are people who care about you, you know.”

”I'm fine. There's nothing to talk about. If that's all you're here for, you can go now. I can take care of myself, I don't need a babysitter.”

”You're clearly not fine. We know you're not normally like... this.” Otabek gestures in Yuri's general direction. ”Obviously we can't make you talk about it if you don't want to, but I really think you should. We can't help you if you don't talk to us.

”You don't know what I'm like,” Yuri snaps. ” _I_  know what I'm like, and I'm telling you that I'm  _fine_. Stop acting like you know how I feel. You don't know  _anything_ and I don't want your help.”

”You don't have to be so defensive-”

”I'm not being defensive, I'm just really stressed out, okay!? I'm tired and I'm stressed out and it's  _your_  fault and that's why I've been trying to avoid you, but of course you had to come here and that's not helping at all, and-”  

Yuri's eyes widen and he quickly covers his mouth with his hand, cheeks turning pink; he looks like he cannot believe he just said that. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he casts his eyes down and mutters, ”I really think you should go.”

There's no way in hell they're going to leave now that they're finally getting somewhere with him.

”Come on, Yura,” Otabek says softly, sitting down next to Yuri who quickly scoots away. ”Just talk to us. We're not mad at you, I promise. I'm not gonna lie, I'm hurt – I'm pretty sure JJ's hurt too – but it's not like we hate you. We just want to talk things through and figure out what's going on, but we can't do that if you shut down and don't talk to us.”

JJ takes a seat at the other end of the bed, causing Yuri to glare at them both. ”Don't take this the wrong way, but you kind of owe us an explanation.”

”There's nothing to talk about,” Yuri insists. ”I'm the villain of the story, I lied to you and I got caught. I'm sorry it had to happen like that. What else is there to say? I don't understand why you want to talk about this, it's not like it's gonna change anything.”

”We just want to know why you did it and what's gonna happen now. We're not mad anymore, we're just... confused. You kind of just disappeared.”

”I mean, we were mad. At least I was,” Otabek says, glancing at JJ who nods at him. ”But it's not like I was mad enough to stop caring about you. We had a... thing, Yura. A really good thing. Did you honestly think I'd just forget about it and shrug and move on?”

”Stop saying you care about me.” Yuri tries to sound angry but there's no real heat in his voice. ”I don't want to hear it. I don't deserve it. I'm the bad person here, I– you're supposed to hate me...”

”No one hates you, Yuri,” JJ says softly. ”You keep telling us that we're supposed to be mad at you but that's not how it works. This is an awkward situation for us but we're here anyway because we care about you.”

”Shut up. I don't want you to care about me. Either of you.”

”That's not up to us. Whether you like it or not, we care about you. It's not something you can turn on and off just like that. Just like you can't make yourself care about us if you don't. We just want to know what hell's going on and what you want from us – we honestly don't know.”

”Please, just stop talking, I can't do this, I–”

Suddenly Yuri's clinging to Otabek's hoodie, sobbing quietly as his tears soak into the soft fabric. Otabek isn't sure what he's supposed to do so he just goes with what feels natural and puts his arms around Yuri, gently stroking his back. Seeing Yuri react so strongly to something is odd; all of a sudden he seems so very... human.

”P-please don't hate me,” Yuri whispers, shoulders shaking as he continues to cry. ”I'm s-so sorry, I'm really sorry, please don't hate me, I n-never meant to hurt anyone. I know what I did was wrong, I s-shouldn't have done that but I–”

”Calm down,” Otabek murmurs. ”Of course we don't hate you. Why would we?”

”You should hate me,” Yuri insists. ”I'm t-terrible. I knew what I was doing and I k-knew it was fucked up but I did it anyway. I'm so fucked up.”  

”You're not terrible, you just made a mistake. A big mistake, yeah, but that doesn't make you a bad person.”

Yuri laughs through his tears and shakes his head. ”See, this is what I mean. You're s-such a good guy. Both of you are. I d-don't deserve you. You're so great and I, I'm n-nothing. A pretty face is all I've got but I'm s-so ugly on the inside and now I've made you care about me and you deserve b-better than that.”

”That's not true. You're so much more than that,” Otabek says quietly as Yuri stops talking to catch his breath. ”You're not as bad as you think you are, you're just upset.”

”You're only s-saying that because you don't know the whole truth. I'm even worse than you think. I had two people who cared about me and I fucked it up. And you know what makes it even worse? I'm in love with both of you.”

Yuri spits out the last sentence in an almost angry manner but Otabek and JJ pay little to no attention to the tone of his voice; it's the content of the sentence that captures their attention.

There's no way he actually just said that, right? They must have misheard him somehow, because Yuri only uses the L word when he's talking about his cat. He never says he loves anyone, not even jokingly. It simply doesn't happen.

”You what?” JJ asks after a moment of confused silence. ”I don't think I–”

”You heard me. I promised myself I wouldn't get attached. No feelings. That was my motto. I tried, I tried so hard but I couldn't help it, it just happened. And I wanted you both but I knew it was never going to happen but I thought that maybe...”  

Yuri shakes his head, seemingly trying to shake off whatever thoughts are currently occupying his mind.

”But you already know it didn't work out, and now I have nothing. I just... I just wanted to be happy. That's all I wanted, but every time I have a good thing going I mess up somehow. Now I'm just miserable and it's all my fault. I'm never gonna be happy.”

”That's so not true, Yura. You're jumping into conclusions because you're freaking out,” Otabek says, using a calm voice he usually reserves for frightened animals. ”You gotta calm down.”

”I hate it when you talk to me like that. I don't want you to care about me, I don't want you to waste your time on me, I... You're so stupid for caring about me,” Yuri mutters, hiccuping softly. ”So stupid. I'm trying to give you a chance to walk away, you should take it.”

Otabek doesn't respond, he just holds Yuri tighter and lets him calm down. There's no point in trying to talk to him while he's so upset. They can have a proper conversation once Yuri runs out of tears and is able to talk without sobbing. It may take a while, but he's not in a hurry.

Seconds turn into minutes and the room is quiet. Yuri's breaths become more calm and even as the tension slowly leaves his body, and before long he has fallen asleep; Otabek figures that his sudden outburst wore him out. It's no wonder, really– anyone would be exhausted after something like that.

Truth be told, he feels rather drained as well, and he's not sure what to think of what just went down. All it did was make him feel even more confused.

”Is he asleep?” JJ asks quietly, looking over at him. Otabek nods.

”I think so, yeah. I think he wore himself out.”

”So... What the fuck are we gonna do now?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised you it would get fluffier and i finally deliver! rejoice!

The first thing Yuri notices when he wakes up is that he has a post-crying headache and feels like his head is about to split in two.

The second thing he notices is that Otabek and JJ are still in his room even though he specifically told them that they should leave and that Otabek is still holding him. Both of those things confuse him greatly.

Blushing in embarrassment, Yuri moves away from Otabek and tries to smooth his messy hair. He didn't think this would happen and he's not mentally prepared to deal with it. Usually he always knows how to act and what to say but he's feeling a bit lost right now. ”Why are you still here? I already told you, you should go. I thought I was making myself very clear.”

”You were, but we decided to ignore that,” JJ says casually, as if that's the most obvious course of action. ”We still need to talk.”

Of course they still want to talk. All Yuri wants is to let this go and move on. There's no point in talking about it because he already knows what's going to happen. They're going to tell him they want nothing to do with him but want to ”give him closure” or something because they're just so damn polite.

He doesn't want it and he doesn't deserve it. They should just leave him be like he asked them to.

”No, we _don't_. I told you, there's nothing to talk about-” Yuri tries to protest but is promptly interrupted by Otabek.

”That's where you're wrong. There's a lot to talk about. We did a lot of talking when you were sleeping and sorted some things out, but there are still things we need to discuss with you. You're not getting rid of us yet, sorry.”

”What could you possibly want to talk about?” Yuri sighs, rubbing his temples. He's not in the mood for any of this, he just wants to take a shower and go back to sleep and not wake up for a year or two. ”Listen, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but just seeing you makes me feel like a really bad person. I made a really big mistake and I _really_ don't want to think about it, so I'd appreciate it if you'd just go. I don't want you to say you forgive me because I don't deserve it.”

”This isn't about what you think you deserve. If we choose to forgive you, that's our decision, not yours. And besides, if you feel so bad about what you did, you can make up for it by talking things through with us,” JJ says reasonably. ”If you still want us to go when we're done, we will. Deal?”

Yuri mulls over it for a moment and tries to come up with a good argument but can't think of anything. He still wants to tell them to piss off, but on the other hand he really wants to just get this over with. The sooner he can go back to feeling sorry for himself (which seems inevitable), the better. Finally he nods and huffs. ”Fine.”

”You won't actually have to say much, we just need you to listen. Anyway, we talked about stuff and made up, basically. We kind of fell out for a moment after what happened but it's all okay now, so you don't need to worry about that.”

”Yeah. The bottom line is that we're not gonna throw away our friendship over something like this. We've been friends since forever and it's gonna take more than something like this to take that away. Bros before hoes, as JJ so eloquently put it-”

”Not that you're a hoe, obviously,” JJ quickly adds as Yuri raises his brows. ”Well, I mean...”

Otabek rolls his eyes and elbows JJ between the ribs. ”Just quit while you're still ahead.”

”Alright, alright,” JJ huffs. ”Sorry about that, I didn't mean anything by it. Anyway, everything's fine between the two of us but there's still one big issue that needs to be solved and that's you.”

”Well, more like the fact that we like you. Despite everything. I mean, it was really uncool and shit but it's not like we can't forgive you. I wanted to be mad at you, and I was, but at the same time I liked you too much to actually want to break up with you. I wanted to forgive you and I have. I think we both have. I'm not saying it wasn't a big deal but we can get over it.”

”Yeah. Unfortunately the fact that we both want to be with you is the problem here. I don't want to break up with you, neither does he, but forcing you to choose would suck as well. We talked about it and tried to come up with a solution that didn't suck, and... Well, obviously it depends on how you feel about us and all, but...”

”What JJ is trying to say,” Otabek says, cutting him off, ”is that things don't really have to change. I don't know how you feel about polyamorous relationships and honestly, up until now I hadn't really thought about it either, but... It's a possibility, you know. I mean, obviously it would mean that everyone would need to be more honest and communicate better and stuff, but we could make it work. We did have a pretty good thing going.”

”As long as everyone's on the same page we could still have a really good thing. It probably sounds weird and it's a lot to think about and stuff, so you don't have to make up your mind now. We just felt like it's something you should think about.”

”If you don't want to be with either of us anymore, that's fine. We get it, no hard feelings, all that jazz. We just wanted to be honest with you about how _we_ feel, because... Well, you're really great, and it'd be a shame to give up now.”

Yuri just stares at them for a moment.

He's not sure what to think. This is not what he was expecting and now his thoughts are going a million miles an hour as he tries to figure out what the fuck is going on. Are they seriously telling him that they're not only willing to forgive him but also want to be with him, even after everything he did? No sane person would ever do that.

It's not that he doesn't want it – it sounds great, honestly – but a part of him feels like it's too good to be true. He has been let down far too many times and letting himself trust someone again feels really risky. It's true that he's limiting himself by not getting into actual relationships and settling for what he's doing right now, but that has also prevented him from getting hurt.

It's also true that he really, really wants someone to truly care about him.

Is it a risk worth taking? It could be the best decision he's ever made, but it could also be a complete disaster. He doesn't believe he can handle another heartbreak, but what if they don't break his heart? He can't know that for sure, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

Yuri knows exactly what Milla would tell him to do. He can almost hear her voice in his head. _”No pain, no gain. If this is what you really want, go for it. You only regret the things you didn't do and the chances you didn't take. Go get them, tiger.”_

”You're ridiculous, you know,” he chuckles after a long silence and shakes his head. ”I've lied to you and done all kinds of awful stuff and you still want me around? You're seriously willing to go to such lengths for _me_? There's something wrong with both of you.”

Tearing his eyes away from the mattress to look at Otabek and JJ feels like the scariest thing he has done in a very long time, but he forces himself to do it anyway. He knows that seeing their faces is going to make it damn near impossible to lie, but that's exactly what he needs right now. Now's the time to finally be honest.

”That's why I like you so much,” he says quietly. ”I- I know I messed up real bad. I was being selfish and I'm sorry I hurt you, but I was only doing it because I didn't want to lose either of you. I still feel like you guys shouldn't give me another chance because I'm not worth it, but if you're serious about this and honestly want to give it a go... Then I'm saying yes.”

Yuri's eyes go wide as both Otabek and JJ kiss him on the cheek and the blush on his cheek deepens. ”My face is all wet now, that's gross,” he grumbles, trying to sound like he means it even though he's obviously pleased. ”You're gross. Both of you.”

They spend the rest of the day laying in bed and watching Netflix.

Snuggling up to Otabek and JJ makes Yuri realize that he has been starving for physical affection. Usually he only lets people touch him in a sexual manner, which seems to be the only thing most people are interested in, and he doesn't mix feelings with sex. To him sex is something physical, meant to satisfy a physical need. This, however, is something completely different. This fulfills an emotional need he never knew he had.

He feels safe, and comfortable, and it's really weird. Not in a bad way, though, but still weird. Normally he's only ever this relaxed with friends and family because they're the only people he feels like he can trust.

”She has a terrible taste in men,” Yuri comments, referring to the protagonist of the movie they're currently watching. ”So do I, apparently. And this time I'm not being snarky– I'm not talking about you two. All of my boyfriends have been terrible.”

”How bad were they? I want to know what I'm up against.”

Yuri snorts and rolls his eyes, giving JJ a playful shove. ”Shut up, I'm trying to let you in on my tragic backstory and you're ruining the moment!”

”Just a minute, I'm going to put on my serious face,” JJ says, trying to keep a completely straight face. ”Alright, go on.”

”You're so stupid. Luckily for you, the bar isn't set very high so you don't have anything to worry about,” Yuri says dryly. ”My first boyfriend... He was way older than me. More than six years older. He was my first love and I honestly thought he loved me. It turned out sex was the only thing he was after – what a surprise, I know. He left me the moment he got bored of me. I was devastated.”

”Ouch. That really blows. I'm sorry.”

”It's alright. I know I'm better off without him, but back then I was sure I would never love again. I changed my mind when I met the guy who'd eventually become boyfriend number two. He was really cute and seemed confident but was actually really paranoid. He always needed to know where I was and what I was doing and constantly accused me of cheating on him. Later I found out he was the one who had been cheating on me. Raise your hand if you're surprised.”

JJ makes a low whistle. ”Seriously? That's... that's really low."

”Seriously. You've heard nothing yet – I could go on and on. The third one had a drinking problem, the fourth one had anger issues, the fifth one had a girlfriend and didn't want to tell her he was gay... At that point I started to feel like trusting people was a bad idea.”

”No kidding. I think most people would feel that way.”

Yuri shrugs. ”I guess. Anyway, that's when I decided to give up on relationships. I felt like it wasn't worth the time and effort because in the end I was always let down. Maybe it was my own fault, though. Maybe I was the problem.”

”It doesn't sound like you were the problem.” Otabek pets Yuri's hair gently. ”It's not your fault they had their own issues. You just had a string of bad luck.”

”Maybe. But I'm not much better than them, considering all the shit I've done. I didn't want to let anyone hurt me again so I started hurting people instead,” Yuri says quietly. ”I don't think that's the best way to deal with your problems.”

”It's not,” Otabek agrees, ”but that doesn't mean you can't change. I mean, at least you're being honest and doing something about it now. You're not a bad person, you were just hurting. That's a pretty big difference.”

”Maybe. Or maybe you're just giving me too much credit because I'm cute,” Yuri smirks, trying to lighten the mood. Sharing these things with someone is liberating and empowering but also scary, and he feels like now's a good time to stop and change the subject. Luckily Otabek and JJ seem to agree, or maybe they just don't want to push him. Whichever it may be, he appreciates it.

Yuri tries to focus on the movie even though his mind is now wandering. He thinks about his previous relationships and wonders why he seems to always go for the wrong guy. Maybe it really is just bad luck. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe his luck has finally turned and he has made a good choice for once.

He really hopes so.

 


End file.
